Being "Productive"

I have a friend who is continually 'busy' doing so much stuff all the time...she never takes time out to smell the roses or do anything that creates enjoyment for herself in the moment. Its interesting though, because when she goes on vacation she is like a whole different person. She will spend an entire day laying in a lounge chair and reading a book and relaxing...hanging out, talking, enjoying her meals just totally what we in our everyday lives consider doing nothing. Its like vacation is the only time that she lets herself enjoy life. Which is so crazy because she lives in a vacation spot and could 'vacation' a little bit every day.

For whatever reason this concept of always having to be 'productive' to consider a day well spent is burned into me. I always experience guilt to some level if I have a day that I don't "get anything done". When my husband and I went to the Philippines I was amazed at the travelers that we saw from Europe..they were traveling around for a month and just soaking it all up. It made me realize that life is meant to be lived...not programmed out so that we can create 'accomplishments' for ourselves.

One thing I know is that everything we make ourselves do creates an emotional payoff for us somehow, or we wouldn't do it. I know that for me I feel like I am justifying being a stay at home mom by making sure I accomplish all this random stuff every day. When I first quit my job as a teacher and stayed home with my oldest son Andy, I was super rigid about what I did on what days and making sure that I went to bed at a certain time and you know what?? I got so burned out because I was spending my days doing things that I DIDN'T want to do. Living a life of "shoulds" and "have tos" brought me nothing but stress and guilt. Not to say that we don't all have shoulds and have tos, but they definitely don't take up every second of every day!

So, what I have been trying to do over the past few years is think of the things that I like to do on vacation...lay out, read, go for walks/hikes, explore new areas, take a nap, not cook anything/eat good food, and I am trying to make sure that I "pretend" that I am on vacation for a few minutes every day..where I let go of the should haves and the have tos and just go with the moment of what I WANT TO DO.

And I don't let myself feel guilty about it.

An example: On Saturday, we had about 20 minutes before we had to leave for my daughter Kayla's soccer game. There were a million things that I 'should have' been doing (the list never ends), but it was really nice outside..kinda warm with a breeze and I went into the backyard, put on my headphones, put on some good music and lay in my hammock.

I could have been anywhere in the world for those 20 minutes.

I imagined that I was laying out in Hawaii, on the deck of a house situated right by the beach. Let me tell you, I WAS THERE!

It felt so real.

To my mind it was real and that is all that matters because our minds cannot distinguish between our thoughts and reality...what you think is what is real to your mind!

I guess my point is is that

being 'productive' is just another way we try to control our environment so we can manipulate a certain feeling out of it.

It kind of reminds me of something that I heard said about prayers. Someone asked a question about how to stay focused when they were praying because their minds always wandered and they felt bad because they couldn't 'stay on task' in their praying. The answer was that instead of trying to control your mind so much, pay attention to where your mind wanders to...maybe you are already getting an answer to your prayer, or maybe you are receiving inspiration about a person you need to help.

I really like that concept not only in the prayer context but in the life context. Instead of thinking, "Oh, I got so sidetracked, why can't I stay focused and get things done?" Or, "I didn't do anything today except go to the gym," instead I try to think of what I did end up doing and look at that as being me living in the moment and following where it leads rather than trying to control every second of my day.

It takes some mental energy to fight off the guilties but it is so worth it to have periods of time during the day where I fully enjoy the moment for what it is.

That is the best version of 'being productive' there is.